You're Not Actually Paranoid if They Really are Watching You

Today I received a link in my e-mail from my stalker, to the Saluki Club of America Code of Ethics. So I guess that makes it official! Do you think they'll issue an official proclamation?

"The Saluki Club of America issues this proclamation to it's members, that we shall be watching one Jess Ruffner-Booth, sending her unwelcome e-mails, and generally killing any joy she has in the prospect of bringing a litter into the world. Let it be done!"

Will I make it into the meeting minutes, do you think? I always wanted to be in the history books! How about it, Saluki Club? Does my stalker speak for you? Any members want to chime in?

Let's have a look at the CoE, shall we? Pretty common sense, 'responsible' breeder type stuff. On a quick look-see the only issue my litter would have, were I a member, would be that Darwin is not yet two. That tears it, I guess, I'll never find homes for these pups now! I'm irresponsible and disreputable! Hat trick! Oh, crap, I have crossbreed. I guess I was already irresponsible and disreputable. Ah, well, at least I've accomplished something today.

But wait, what's this? This is a good one, here:

• To practice good sportsmanship, good ring manners, and courtesy to both judges and fellow exhibitors. To take responsible precautions to maintain hotels and show grounds in clean condition.

I'm not an exhibitor, so I guess that means you can send rude and send harassing e-mails to me in good conscience. Fire away, club members, my e-mail address is around here somewhere.

• Not to engage in false or misleading advertising, nor malign our competition by making false statements about them or their breeding.

Well, you've already maligned the breeder of two of my dogs, and she actually is your competition, being heavily into conformation shows. Got you on that one! One of my other breeders doesn't count, seeing as they don't show. You think these codes were written that way on purpose?

•To advise and assist newcomers so that they may be guided in ways that can best protect and perpetuate the breed.

I think you've completely dropped the ball on this one. There's nothing in there about veiled threats or harassment campaigns.

• To attempt to educate the public, in a spirit of kindness and courtesy, about the unique qualities and needs of the Saluki and responsible Saluki ownership.

I've been treated with kindness and courtesy, but not by any club members I'm aware of. I have been treated with condescension and hostility by an AKC judge that I presume is a club member, since she is seemingly claiming to speak for the club.

• To encourage all Saluki fanciers who demonstrate enduring commitment to the breed to become members of the Saluki Club of America through sponsorship or other assistance. In all questions of ethics, covered or not covered by this code, the membership shall act solely in the best interests of the breed, in good conscience, and motivated by good intentions.

Well, you blew it on that one. I certainly wouldn't consider it in the best interest of the breed to post a link on a large mailing list, to sic your list cronies on me, talk about me behind my back in a forum where I cannot defend myself, and send harassing and threatening e-mails. I went to high school, I've dealt with cliques, and frankly I don't think that little incident was motivated by either good conscience or good intentions.

Ma'am, you started this by posting the link so your little friends who bolster themselves by dragging down others could make hash of me behind my back. Yes, I know it was you who initially posted the link. Luckily I found out about it and nipped it in the bud before you could get a lynch mob going and spoiled your fun. If you had left it alone after I posted my policies for this litter no one would be reading this right now. But you couldn't leave it alone, could you? Why? Because I wouldn't play hang dog and roll over?

I work in a nasty, backstabbing, rumor-mongering industry filled with people who do nothing all day long but piss me off. In regards to snark, my cup runneth over. I've got more snark that I know what to do with. An endless supply. I can do this 'til the cows come home. Whether I do get to indulge myself is up to you. Leave it alone, and I'll stop. I might even do you the courtesy of deleting these posts.

If you choose to keep it up, you should know that I'm not a novice when it comes to this kind of thing. I've been on the net since the late eighties, and frankly, this is child's play compared to fencing with fanatics who think your husband should die in order to keep him from drawing the X-Men ever again. I am also no stranger to online harassment. All e-mails are printed out and filed. If it goes beyond a level I'm comfortable with, I will file complaints with your ISP. Because I was harassed in real life as well as on the web, I have filed reports with the local sheriff's office before, to create a paper trail and let our very nice sheriff know that I expect trouble. I will not hesitate to do so again, especially since I am well aware that there is a contingent of Saluki fanciers who will go so far as to extend their agenda from cyberspace into the real world. And just in case anybody else out there gets any monumentally stupid ideas, I live in a Castle state.

These are not threats. They are facts. Despite my light and mocking tone, I am taking this very seriously. In these days were anyones right and ability to breed their dogs is threatened, this kind of thing is beyond uncool and extremely counterproductive.

I will also gladly post this entire exchange to the Pet-Law list, where there are hundreds, if not more, of breeders, and breeder on breeder harassment is often a hot topic. They might get a kick out of this.

FWIW, you couldn't pay me to join your little club.

I reserve the right to post any further e-mails on this subject to my blog with all their identifying markers in their entirety. Neener neener neener.